The best part of the amateur draft is that we fans get all sorts of new toys to play with. Our favorite team drafts nearly 40 new prospects for us to dream on. The problem is that the draft is such a murky thing that we really know nothing about these guys. I intend to fix that.

No, I don't actually have information on the new players, but that isn't going to stop me. Instead, I am just going to arbitrarily assign backstories to each guy so that they will always have a special place in our memories even if they don't pan out. Why? Because why not, that's why!

Round 2 (#59) - Hunter Green, LHP, Warren East HS: A first round talent that fell to #59 because he takes his first name too literally and only hunts "the most dangerous game."

Round 3 (#95) - Keynan Middleton, RHP, Lane CC: He is the fifth cousin four times removed of Princess Kate Middleton. As such, if there is ever a horrible explosion during a picture of the extended royal family, Keynan could find himself the unlikely new monarch of Great Britain. (Yep, that's right a King Ralph joke in 2013. What are you gonna do about it?)

Round 4 (#127) - Elliot Morris, RHP, Pierce College: His nickname since childhood is "Weenie the Poo." Do NOT ask him why.

Round 5 (#157) - Kyle McGowin, RHP, Savannah State: Plans on using his signing bonus to start an alpaca farm.

Round 6 (#187) - Harrison Cooney, RHP, Florida Gulf Coast: In his contract negotiations, he insisted that he be allowed to enter the game on a Segway whenever he gets called in from the bullpen.

Round 7 (#217) - Garrett Nuss, RHP, Seminole State: Due to his first name, he is clearly destined for greatness. That's just good science talking.

Round 8 (#247) - Nate Smith, LHP, Furman University: Communicates with dead people, but only people who died in unfortunate luge accidents.

Round 9 (#277) - Stephen McGee, C, Florida State: Had a small role in the unreleased sequel to Snakes on a Plane. He played "Blue Krait #4."

Round 10 (#307) - Grant Gordon, RHP, Missouri State: Caught Tebowmania, had to be placed on life support for three weeks.

Round 11 (#337) - Jonah Wesely, LHP, Tracy HS: Has a pet raccoon named Carl Von Cuddlestripes.

Round 12 (#367) - Blake Goins, RHP, Pearland HS: The Angels agonized over this pick because they weren't sure if they wanted to pick Brad Cummins instead. Yep, they didn't know if they were Cummins or Goins. (Hello? Is this thing on? Take my wife, please!)

The June 11th, 2013 edition of daily news for the Los Angeles Angels including Bourjos activated, Nelson DFA'd, Burnett visiting Dr. Andrews and much more...

The Story: Peter Bourjos was activated from the DL yesterday with Chris Nelson getting designated for assignment to make room on the roster.

The Monkey Says: Bourjos returned to play center (get over it, people) and bat ninth. Nelson was cut loose in favor of Brad Hawpe who provides more positional flexibility since he can play first base, which has been a bit of a problem for the team this year thanks to Pujols' injury.

The Story: Sean Burnett is off to Alabama for another visit to Dr. James Andrews.

The Monkey Says: This is his second visit this season, so it speaks to how hopeless this situation is becoming. Andrews didn't find anything in his last exam, so one would think there is nothing new for him to find this time around, but perhaps he will be prompted to take a more invasive approach with Burnett to find the source of his continuing elbow problems.

It really speaks to how the Angels' season is going when you find yourself rooting for the rain to never stop.

For a few hours, it looked like the Halos may have caught a break after Baltimore took the lead in the bottom of the fifth only to have the umpires call a rain delay with two outs in the inning. Had the rain not stopped, the inning wouldn't have counted and the game could've been wiped out and the Halos could at least temporarily avoid a loss.

Nope. Didn't happen. Even the weather is against the Angels right now.

Instead, play resumed and the Angels tried to mount a comeback after once again being largely held in check by Freddy Garcia, which is kind of inexcusable but also totally expected. As per usual, the Angels had their shot, loading the bases with one out only to be foiled by Albert Pujols striking out on three pitches and Mark Trumbo weakly grounding out to end the threat.

Such is the Angels.

Orioles 4, Angels 3

About one month ago, the following was written:

If the Angels are swept by the Astros at any point, let’s agree to ... start mainlining Prozac.

Well, good news for the pharmaceutical lobby: The Angels have seemingly turned from the winning ways that brought them an 8 game win streak and proceeded to screw the pooch, dropping four of four to the Astros. It’s not the end of the season, but it sure feels a like it. A team that, on paper, the Angels should have been able to beat turned into an unstoppable force that ripped 4 games from the Halos grasp, including one shutout. This was followed by a split with the Cubs, a team ranked 4th in their division with only two more wins than the Astros. Another blunder in a what should have been a winnable series. Follow THAT up with 1 for 3 against the Red Sox and things are looking bleak, to put it mildly.

So, what now?

Do we turn our attention to the All-Star game? To the surprise of no one, Mike Trout came out of the gate leading the AL outfielder race in all-star votes. If anyone was thinking of leaping off a cliff, that should be enough to at least make you take a couple steps back and pause a bit to take a picture for instagram before you jump. Other than that, we’ll have to pray some of the top selections are too jaded with the summer classic to accept their invites and we sneak some alternates in.

Do we start the blame game? It’s the pitching! It’s the hitting! It’s Scioscia’s coaching! It’s Butcher’s coaching! It’s the bullpen! It’s Jerry DiPoto’s fault for screwing up the roster! It’s Budweiser’s fault for not telling the Angels they can’t raise beer prices! It’s the groundskeepers’ faults for making the grass too springy! It’s AJ Pierzynski’s fault because he’s a convenient target of hate! Just a point a finger any direction and we’ll find the source of this culture of losing! (Although Pierzynski is the front runner on this one, just because.)

Do we prepare for next season? Trout and Trumbo are still in need of contract extensions and it’s time to start worrying about Pujols’s backloading as his salary goes up in year three and its a bigger problem than you may expect. With the way the current season’s going, the Halos can’t raise beer prices again to pay for the increase. The fans need SOMETHING to take the edge off, and if we comfort eat instead, we’ll all be Blanton-esque before you know it.

The answer to “What now?” is this: We endure. Baseball is 162 games. Some are gone and there are many still yet to play. Since the NBA and NHL are almost out and NFL opening day is an entire summer away, baseball and the UFC are all we have as sports fans (unless you count golf, which I don’t). While we all have ideas on how to make the team better, it can’t be helped. We’re not the ones in the office, we’re not the ones on the field and we’re not the ones in the dugout. We’re the ones in the stands. It’s our job to be pleasantly surprised should the Angels somehow right this ship and sail out into playoff contention. We should prepare for that.

Or we should start saving our nickels for $15 beers next season.

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If Scioscia can shake up the lineup and the rotation, well then why can't I shake up the Power Rankings?

RANK	PLAYER	CHANGE	COMMENTS
1		-- 0 Last Week: 1	Mike Trout - Now that he's back batting leadoff, maybe it will get everyone to shut the hell up about the fact that he is shifting back to left field this week.
2		+2 Last Week: 4	Howie Kendrick - Howie hit a ridiculous .542 this week, yet I am still terrified of the Human GIDP Machine now batting in a prominent RBI slot in the order.
3		-1 Last Week: 2	Jered Weaver - Not the greatest follow up start against the Cubs and his velocity was down a tick, but we remain optimistic about the man Jose Mota calls "The Weave."
4		+1 Last Week: 5	Mark Trumbo - Not only does Trumbo have 15 homers, but he also has 16 doubles, which is just three fewer than he had in 2012.
5		-2 Last Week: 3	Jason Vargas - Jason Vargas, I'd like to introduce you to regression to the mean. Oh! I see you two have already met.
6		+3 Last Week: 9	Erick Aybar - Go figure that Aybar finally gets moved out of the leadoff spot and then draws two walks in three games after not walking once since May 22nd.
7		+1 Last Week: 8	Albert Pujols - We're all in agreement that one game-winning homer is all we need to pretend like Pujols is actually going to turn his season around, right? Good. I'm glad we had this talk.
8		+8 Last Week: 16	Kevin Jepsen - Aw, crap. Here we go again. Jepsen being all great and making me think about trusting him again. I promised myself I'd never go back. I PROMISED.
9		-2 Last Week: 7	Jerome Williams - Best ERA in the entire rotation? BACK TO LONG RELIEF WITH YOU!
10		-4 Last Week: 6	Chris Iannetta - Ah, I see we are back to the all-walk, no-hit version of Iannetta. Well, it was fun while it lasted.
11		+6 Last Week: 17	Michael Kohn - Kohn has been charged with one earned run since May 2nd. That is some really nice work that has gone mostly under the radar.
12		+3 Last Week: 15	Ernesto Frieri - My ulcer has a first name. It's E-R-N-E-S-T-O. My ulcer has a second name. It's F-R-I-E-R-I.
13		+1 Last Week: 14	Scott Downs - Downs is looking more and more competent. He still is mainly a LOOGY, but a very good one. Let's hope he keeps it up long enough to get a nice return for him at the trade deadline.
14		-4 Last Week: 10	C.J. Wilson - I've figured it out, Wilson is an anti-ace. To most, the definition of an ace is that when the team really needs a great start from a pitcher, the ace steps up and gives them that start. When Wilson is put in those situations, that, without fail, is when he is at his worst.
15		-4 Last Week: 11	Alberto Callaspo - Callaspo isn't fielding well, but at least he isn't hitting either.
16		-4 Last Week: 12	Tommy Hanson - He is walking a dangerous tightrope of keeping his team in the game despite a 2.00+ WHIP. It sure seems like he is bound to fall off sooner rather than later.
17		-4 Last Week: 13	Dane De La Rosa - Despite not getting called up until over a week into the season, DDLR leads all Angel relievers in innings, being routinely overworked by Scioscia and still carrying a 4.05 ERA. His reward? Demoted in favor of Brad freaking Hawpe.
18		+3 Last Week: 21	Josh Hamilton - Anytime you can move your wildly underachieving slugger into the most important spot in the batting order, you just have to do it.
19		+4 Last Week: 23	Hank Conger - With Wilson continuing to struggle, might it not be time for Scioscia to question this whole Conger as his personal catcher thing?
20		+2 Last Week: 22	J.B. Shuck  - Thanks for filling in, Shucky Boy. Now get the hell out of the way so Bourjos can play.
21		-2 Last Week: 19	Garrett Richards - Richards can be a great reliever if Scioscia can just find a way to never use him when there are two outs in an inning.
22		-4 Last Week: 18	Robert Coello - Methinks the fuckleball is starting to lose its mystery and novelty. Just a hunch triggered by his 23.14 ERA last week.
23		-3 Last Week: 20	Joe Blanton - Nice to see Blanton make such a strong showing in his last start to prove that Scioscia made the right choice in sticking with him in the rotation. In a related story, they really need to finally invent that sarcasm font.
24		-- 0 Last Week: 24	Brendan Harris - Well, at least he didn't have to make a start at first base this week.
25		-- 0 Last Week: 25	Chris Nelson - Either Nelson or Hawpe are going to get demoted today. Honestly, I am hoping it is Nelson so his Yankee headshot will stop haunting these rankings.

Dropped from rankings: Brad Hawpe, sort of, he was never really added but he is going to get dropped next week anyway

Biggest Riser: Jepsen, up eight spots

Biggest Dropper: Iannetta, Wilson, Callaspo, De La Rosa, Hanson and Coello, down four spots each

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The June 10th, 2013 edition of daily news for the Los Angeles Angels including Hamilton moved to two-hole, Bourjos to return today and much more...

The Story: Mike Scioscia shook up his batting order, with Trout leading off, Hamilton batting second and Kendrick batting fifth.

The Monkey Says: This lineup is officially sponsored by the Titanic Brand Deck Chairs. I don't blame Scioscia for trying something new given the recent offensive struggles. I would prefer Trout bat second though all things being equal. That being said, this lineup was a popular suggestion before the season and I'd be a lot more behind it right now if Josh Hamilton was actually hitting the like Josh Hamilton of old instead of the Vernon Wells of old.

The Story: Peter Bourjos will be activated from the disabled list today but won't bat leadoff.

The Monkey Says: That makes sense given the news above with the lineup change. Bourjos was hitting well there before, but it was also well above his natural ability. Scioscia will see if the Hamilton hitting second thing works before he toys with having Bourjos leadoff again. My guess is he will slot into the nine-hole as a pseudo-leadoff until then.

Thanks to an incredibly uninspired start by Joe Blanton, which can ultimately be attributed to a terrible managerial decision to allow him to kick the superb Jerome Williams out of the rotation in order to keep the now 1-10 Blanton in the rotation. So many times did the Angels battle to keep themselves within fighting distance of the Red Sox only to have Blanton make that all for naught. 

Even though Blanton pitched horribly Robert Coello did nothing to help the fact while giving up 3 earned runs to push the game even farther out of the Angels hands, which as we saw later in the game was something they could have very easily pulled in with a huge 8th inning rally that was killed prematurely by, what else, horrible baserunning.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Red Sox 10 Angels 5