When I couldn't sleep the other night, I started trolling through of my Google Analytics reports, specifically, the keyword referrals this blog has gotten.  There were a lot of what you would expect (the first 50 or so results were some permutation of "Jeff Mathis can't hit" or "Angels offense sucks", but as I got into the depths of the report, I found some that were downright hilarious.

Here are the ten most "interesting" keyword results I found from the last few months.  I know I do some satirical pieces now and then, but I promise you these are all 100% real.  That reminds me, if any of you are responsible for these searches, I both applaud you and am slighlty worried about your mental health.

1. "Is Jeff Mathis a homosexual"-  Wow, I know give Mathis a hard time, but take it easy people.
2. "Arte Moreno and murder in Anaheim stadium"-  This last off-season was bad, but murder?  I think someone is taking things a little to personally.
3. "I hate Carl Crawford"-  Not gonna lie, I'm pretty proud of this one.
4. "Juan Rivera lazy"-  Why did someone need to Google this?  Just watch him play and that should pretty much tell you all you need to know.
5. "Vernon Wells big splash"-  Ouch, that one hurts.
6. "Did Joe Maddon get fat"-  Maddon might be a Scioscia protege, but not to the point that he's emulating Mike's body type.
7. "Garrett Wilson and death penalty"-  WHAT?!?!?!  Hey, people, if you don't like my writing, just leave a snarky comment, the death penalty seems like a bit much, no?  Seriously though, I actually plugged this search in myself and some douche with the same name as me killed his infant child.  Way to ruin it for everyone, other Garrett.
8. "Is it a good idea not to drop Kendrys Morales?"-  No, that is not a good idea.  In fact, there might not be much worse ideas out there when it comes to fantasy baseball.
9. "John Lackey cheats on his wife"-  That's just not very nice.
10. "Scott Kazmir don't worry guys"-  Google FAIL!  There is no way I ever wrote anything about Kazmir that involved the sentiment of "don't worry."

We all love to think we know our team so well that we could predict exactly how the season would play out before it even started.  But now, as we pass the halfway mark of the Angel season, I think we would all see just how unpredictable a baseball season can really be.

Try and transport your mind back to the month of February as the Angels were about to start Spring Training.  Think about all the assumptions you held back then and just how confident you were in them.  Now, with those assumptions firmly in mind, consider how you would feel if I had told you so many of the various things that have come to pass already this season.

If I had told you the Angels would be 1.5 games back at the half? 

Admit it, you would have been ecstatic.  Even the most optimistic of us weren't firm believers in the Angels' ability to hang with the Rangers, but sure enough, they've done that so far.  Almost every single expert had written the Angels off entirely, predicting a third place finish, yet here they stand with a very good chance of taking the divisional lead before the end of July.

If I had told you the Angels would be 42-40?

I'm guessing you probably would have nodded knowingly.  Most every expert had the Angels pegged for about 85 wins, so a 41-40 record is right on pace for that kind of finish.  What this also shows us is that maybe we shouldn't be too excited about the Angels being 1.5 games back since it seems like that has a lot more to do with the Rangers underachieving than the Angels overachieving (because, you know, they're not).

The June 30th, 2011 edition of daily news for the LA Angels including Izturis day-to-day with a sore foot, Rodney nearing a return, David Eckstein visits the Halo clubhouse and much more...

The Story: Maicer Izturis is day-to-day with a sore foot.

The Monkey Says: This is a nagging issue that he's dealt with before, but the team seems confident (or at least as confident as they can be when it comes to Mr. Glass) that Izzy will be available at some point this weekend.

The Story: Fernando Rodney is getting close to returning from his back injury.

The Monkey Says: Fraudney may or may not go out on rehab, but I'm going to go ahead and suggest they definitely send him for a brief assignment before they allow him back in big league bullpen, even if they are desperate for help.

The Angels have finally recorded a home sweep after a long wait for us fans, displaying their dominance of the NL yet again. Walden finally recorded a save while Dan Haren won his first home game since April. It's been a while since I've seen a 1-0 victory in favor of the Angels, it's nice to see they still have it in them to pull in such close games. 

Angels 1 Nationals 0 

@
Washington Nationals (40-40) @ Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (41-40)

Pitching Probables: WAS – Jordan Zimmerman (5-6, 2.85 ERA)  LAA – Dan Haren (7-5, 3.05 ERA)

Game Info: 4:05 PM PT; TV - Fox Sports West; Radio - KLAA 830 AM

Three for the sweep, because I suck at rhyming. There gonna be a showdown at high noon in Anaheim today, with a possible first place contention in the near future for the Halos. This series has been all about offense, offense, and even more offense. However, if there's ever been a formula for a pitchers duel it's the matchup the baseball gods have sealed for today. It may not be as epic as the Weaver v Kershaw matchup, but it's still going to scoot your butts to the edge of your seat and send your fingernails a first class ticket straight to your mouth.

If you are the kind of fan that can't get enough of their favorite Angel player, then Twitter sure is for you.  Several of the Halo players are active Twitter users and the things they say, well, let's just say that they lie somewhere between insightful and inane.  Let's take a look at what the Angels are tweeting this week!

Torii Hunter is older and wiser - @toriihunter48 It felt good to be back on the field tonite. I think I better stop fighting those walls for a while. I lose that battle every time. Gr8 win!

• I think Hunter qualifies as a slow learner if it took him 35 years to figure out that the wall always wins.

Mike Trout loves irony - @Trouty20 Fishing !

• Does that technically make Trout a cannibal?

First round pick CJ Cron is already on Twitter - @CCron24 Almost to 500. Get me there people!

• The ink on his contract isn't even dry and he is already whoring for followers.  I have to say, the kid is a quick learner.

Michael Kohn doesn't like traffic - @MichaelKohn58 Only I'n LA is there traffic @ 1 I'n the afternoon.

• Hey, Mike, how about you just be happy you're in LA and not Salt Lake?

...and finally, we save the best for last.  Every week, we're going to play a little game called "What the hell is Angels prospect Chevez Clarke tweeting about?"  If you don't follow Chevy... don't.  He might be insane.  His tweets consistently make no sense and always seem to be one sentence from the middle of a conversation, only he isn't talking to anyone.  So, without further adieu, here are a few of Chevy's "unique observations."

@OfficialChevy It was packed like booty hair tonight

@OfficialChevy My cab driver cross eyed af.. I'm nervous then a....

• Can someone please make sure that Chevy is taking his medication?  And if he isn't prescribed any, take him to a doctor.  NOW.

The June 29th, 2011 edition of daily news for the LA Angels including Walden's closer job is safe, Weaver in good shape to start the All-Star Game, all other Halos remain completely out of the All-Star voting picture and much more...

The Story: Mike Scioscia says Jordan Walden's job as closer is very secure.

The Monkey Says: As well it should be.  Walden hasn't been all that bad in his recent streak of blown saves, so taking the job from him would be a big overreaction.  Plus, the Angels don't exactly have a lot of options for replacing him.

The Story: Jered Weaver is in good position to start the All-Star Game for the AL.

The Monkey Says: As the article mentions, Justin Verlander seems like his prime competition, and he may not be allowed to pitch, making Weaver the easy choice.  Then again, Ron Washington is the AL manager, so he might pass over Weaver out of spite.