Hey look, an offense!! It's about freakin' time the Angels hit and scored some runs. Add to that some Harry Houdini like pitching and, Voila!, the Halos get a victory. Now let's not get carried away; one win does not a division title make. However, there were a lot of positive signs to take away from tonight's game. Let the good times roll!!

Angels 8 Tigers 1

When it comes to Garrett Richards, let's hope the third time is the charm. Even though he is just shy of his 25th birthday, Richards is now getting his third shot at securing a spot in the Angel rotation.

Despite a mid-nineties fastball and a wicked slider, Richards just hasn't ever been able to have the kind of success that many had forecasted for him. His previous stints in the rotation, which have only been a grand total of 12 starts, have been plagued by high ERAs, wimpy strikeout rates, concerning walk rates, ugly platoon splits and a few too many homers allowed. Given the small sample size, some of that can be forgiven, but there is enough evidence to suggest that Richards just may not be cut out for being a starter. He's now being given this one last four-to-six week stretch to audition for the gig. Despite his youth and promise, one has to figure that if he fails to impress once again, he's not going to get any other callbacks.

The pressure may be on Richards, but there are some real signs of hope stemming from Garrett's early work as a reliever in 2013. As a relief pitcher this season, Richards is finally flashing the peripherals the Halos had hoped to see from him in his previous work in the rotation. In the admittedly tiny sample of 4.1 innings of work, Richards has posted a 10.38 K/9, 2.50 BB/9 and completely shut down left-handed hitting. Again, I can't stress how small that sample is, but he has shown a smaller but similar spike in effectiveness in his previous stints of relief work. In a still small sample of 25.1 career relief innings, his K/9 is 3.5 strikeouts better in relief and he has shaved a full walk off his BB/9 rate.

What is more important that Richards' actual results though is how he is going about attaining them. One of the reasons that many failed starting pitchers are able to find success in relief is because they are able to simplify things. They can either reduce their repertoire, give more effort and focus or focus on one specialized pitch. It appears that the early success Garrett has achieved in 2013 has been a result of all three of those factors.

The April 19th, 2013 edition of daily news for the Los Angeles Angels including La Russa denies he might replace Scisocia, Butcher not worried about job security and much more...

The Story: Tony La Russa shot down rumors that he might replace Mike Scioscia as manager.

The Monkey Says: And so it begins, wild speculation with no shred of evidence causing problems. It is almost hard to believe the NY Post wasn't somehow behind this.

The Story: Pitching coach Mike Butcher is not worried about his job security.

The Monkey Says: Well, he should be because he sure seems like he is going to be the sacrificial lamb this year if the Angels decide they need one. He doesn't seem to have angered any players in the way Mickey Hatcher did last season, but every struggling team needs a scapegoat at some point.

April.  What is it with April?  Is spring training not long enough?  Is it the cold weather away from home?  Is it Mike Scioscia and his coaching staff? Mike Butcher?  Is it team chemistry?  I don’t know, I’m sure you can effectively argue anything at this point.  Bottom line: our halos are playing like poop, and they know they are.  Other than the utter failure of our rotation, let’s try and shed some light on another topic.

Last year, after the signing of Albert Pujols, Mr. Moreno was quick to start his promotion of our generation’s best hitter, placing “El Hombre” billboards of Pujols all across Southern California.  Yes, “El Hombre,” the man brought in by Arte to get the Angels back into the playoffs.  The man brought in to save the Angels from more disappointment.  The man brought in to win a World Series.

Now as you remember, Albert immediately expressed his disdain for these billboards, stating that “El Hombre” was Stan Musial, and that he could never live up to his example.  But, come on, was that the only reason?  How does one live up to such great expectations upon joining a new team?  It was too much, even for a veteran like Pujols.  There’s enough pressure that comes along with a $240 million contract and a new team.  Everyone in the universe already knew what the Angels pulled off.  Why add more pressure by making such a bold comparison to the Cardinal legend?  The consequences? Albert spent April trying to be “El Hombre” instead of himself, showing the world how “unmanly” he could be.  It was only until the beginning of May that it was clear he shook off these comparisons, and went back to mashing the baseball.

This too shall pass.

The season is just 14 games old for the Angels which translates to two and a half weeks in real time and the Angels are sitting at 4-10. That obviously means that there is only one thing for the vast majority of Angel fans to do:

PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't mean to totally mock that reaction here as I am prone to a bit of that myself, especially whilst watching Joe Blanton do everything in his power to make sure the he gives the Halos no chance of winning. I get it. It is frustrating and it is painful to watch.

We want this solved and we want it solved now. We also want to find someone to blame because that is just human nature. Something isn't working right, therefore some one must pay.

I even understand why so many Halo fans are committing the cardinal sin of reading way too much into such a small sample size of baseball. We spent the entire off-season being beaten over the head with the narrative that the Angels' poor April cost them a playoff spot in 2012. Now we are all reliving almost the exact same script. Some of the characters have changed, but all the plot points are pretty much the same.

Given all that, the panic, anger and frustration is understandable. I'm not saying that is how you should react, but I get it as I am not immune to it myself, even though I know better.

What everyone really needs to do though is calm the f*** down.

The April 18th, 2013 edition of daily news for the Los Angeles Angels including Blanton trying to figure out struggles, the pain of watching Pujols run and much more...

The Story: Joe Blanton held a meeting with the Angels' coaches in an effort to try and figure out his early season struggles.

The Monkey Says: Well, it couldn't hurt. Unfortunately, one very much has to consider the possibility here that Joe Blanton just isn't very good.

The Story: Albert Pujols is now painfully slow due to his foot injuries.

The Monkey Says: I knew he was moving slowly right now, but I had no idea that he was running so slow that it made Bengie Molina look fast.

Although we have been seeing some signs of life, the pulse still isn’t strong in the Angels. OK, the injuries haven’t been as disastrous as they could have been, with Luis Jimenez covering third base more than adequately, and although we miss Erick Aybar, Harris and Romine haven’t embarrassed themselves at shortstop. The pitching has been predictably unpredictable, but Weaver will be back at some stage (right??!) and until then Garrett Richards should settle in and possibly even cement himself into the rotation. As mentioned elsewhere, the moves by Mike Scioscia which may have at first seemed like signs of panic (moving Trout to two, bringing up Roth, etc) have in fact, whilst not setting the diamond on fire, turned out to be pretty solid, under the circumstances.

So why stop there? Why not push the boat all the way out, and see what floats? Here, tongue firmly in cheek, are five suggestions:

5) Only allow Josh Hamilton to take batting practice against CJ Wilson.

He’s said he wants “routine”, right? They go way back. And as long as JH is going to keep swinging at everything he faces, and CJ thinks the strikezone is roughly the size of the Big A itself, maybe this will force at least one of them to sort their shit out.

4) Replace the entire starting lineup with bench players and call-ups.

Just for one series, as a wake-up call to the big guns. Have a look:

Infield: Jimenez, Romine, Harris, and Tommy Field.

Outfield: Shuck, Calhoun and Bourjos (he’s been through enough uncertainty over the last 18 months, leave him alone.)

Catcher: Hank Conger

SP: Garrett Richards

Bullpen: Roth, De La Rosa, Nick Maronde and Frieri (who hasn’t pitched enough to take any blame…yet.)

Doesn’t look too bad, does it?

3) Bring in penalties.

How about a rule where, if you screw up running the bases, you’re forced to do a lap of the stadium in your underpants? *

If you bobble a routine fly, you have to juggle for the entire next inning.

Or if a pitcher walks in a run during a tight game, he has to go ride “It’s A Small World” four times in a row, without earplugs.

*This will not work for Mike Trout. He’d get as far as the Trout Farm, and never be seen again.

2) Stop calling Albert Pujols “The Machine”.

Have you noticed that he plays better with a smile on his face?

Call him “Mr. Happy”, or something, let him enjoy himself. It suits him.

1) Replace “Buttercup” in the 7^th innings stretch with Rage Against The Machine’s “Killing In The Name Of”.

Ok, that one is just for me. But seriously, wouldn’t that be cool?

Because, let's be honest, after the events of this week? It's worth remembering that it's just a game. 

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