So it seems that the LA Dodgers are going to be getting their very own TV network. Well, isn't that special?
Oh, wait, I'm sorry, that came off as sarcastic, didn't it? That is special. I'm actually quite jealous of the Dodgers, which is something I seldom find myself feeling. But, for me at least, my jealousy is not steeped in the fact that the Dodgers are going to be pulling in an insane amount of money or elevating their national profile even higher. No, what I am envious of is that the channel belongs to them. It is all Dodgers, all the time. Or at least it could be. I'm sure they'll screw it up somehow and fill programming slots by televising LA Sparks games or something.
Needless to say, this development has sent my mind off on a flight of fancy. What would a TV network look like if the Angels had their own network? Alas, we will probably never see that happen what with Fox Sports owning the Angels' TV rights for what should be just long enough for this whole regional sports network bubble to burst. That won't kill my dream though, so I have taken the liberty of crafting a programming lineup for this fictional Angels channel that will never see the light of day. I assure you, when I am done, you will want to petition Arte Moreno to tear up that $3 billion contract in favor of my plan... either that or we will collectively realize why software engineers seldom make for good TV executives. It could go either way at this point. Enough dillydallying, on to the daily programming!
6 AM to 9 AM - Wake the Halo Up! with Hartman and The Wonder Dog
Light talk is a staple of morning programming, so let's not reinvent the wheel here. In fact, let's be total sheep and follow the trend of televising a radio show! Why on earth people want to watch a radio host sit and yak into a microphone all by himself is beyond me, but it seems to work for guys like Dan Patrick and Mike Francesa, so who am I to argue? The problem is that the best KLAA has to offer is Roger Lodge. This I simply cannot abide. That means we need to create a new simulcast radio/TV show out of whole cloth. Fortunately, I know just the men for the job. Yes, one of them is Rex Hudler. Yes, I am on record as not liking Rex, but I know there are many that do and this isn't just about me. I do have other reasons though. Hud might not be so great with the analysis but he is basically a Five Hour Energy Drink incarnate and isn't that what morning programming is all about? Someone to get you pepped up in the morning? Of course, he isn't for everyone, which is why I paired him with Steve Hartman. Maybe I am in the minority here, but I grew up listening to the Loose Cannons when it was Hartman and Chet Forte and always thought Hartman was great. The Loose Cannons show has gone down the tubes in recent years, but I still like Hartman and I think he would do well across from Rex seeing how he has been co-existing with the lunatic moron that is Vic "the Brick" Jacobs for so many years.
9 AM to 11 AM - The Chase
We're going to tell them that The Chase is shorthand for "the pennant chase," but really this is all about cleat chasers! Yes, that's right, we're giving the Angels' WAGs their own roundtable talk show a la The View, The Chew, The Talk and all the other super creatively named daytime talk shows targeting the housewife demographic. Having these lovely ladies talk about baseball and what it is like to be married to a pro baseball player sure as hell would be a lot more interesting than whatever nonsense Joy Behar and that Hasselbeck chick yammer on about on The View. Plus, I bet it would help recruit free agents, although I'm not sure players with wives that are desperate to be on TV are really the kind of players the Angels want. I'm actually kind of glad this show doesn't exist though because it would only make me even more upset that the Angels signed Joe Blanton instead of Brandon McCarthy and his awesomely entertaining wife.no comments