Although we have been seeing some signs of life, the pulse still isn’t strong in the Angels. OK, the injuries haven’t been as disastrous as they could have been, with Luis Jimenez covering third base more than adequately, and although we miss Erick Aybar, Harris and Romine haven’t embarrassed themselves at shortstop. The pitching has been predictably unpredictable, but Weaver will be back at some stage (right??!) and until then Garrett Richards should settle in and possibly even cement himself into the rotation. As mentioned elsewhere, the moves by Mike Scioscia which may have at first seemed like signs of panic (moving Trout to two, bringing up Roth, etc) have in fact, whilst not setting the diamond on fire, turned out to be pretty solid, under the circumstances.

So why stop there? Why not push the boat all the way out, and see what floats? Here, tongue firmly in cheek, are five suggestions:

5) Only allow Josh Hamilton to take batting practice against CJ Wilson.

He’s said he wants “routine”, right? They go way back. And as long as JH is going to keep swinging at everything he faces, and CJ thinks the strikezone is roughly the size of the Big A itself, maybe this will force at least one of them to sort their shit out.

4) Replace the entire starting lineup with bench players and call-ups.

Just for one series, as a wake-up call to the big guns. Have a look:

Infield: Jimenez, Romine, Harris, and Tommy Field.

Outfield: Shuck, Calhoun and Bourjos (he’s been through enough uncertainty over the last 18 months, leave him alone.)

Catcher: Hank Conger

SP: Garrett Richards

Bullpen: Roth, De La Rosa, Nick Maronde and Frieri (who hasn’t pitched enough to take any blame…yet.)

Doesn’t look too bad, does it?

3) Bring in penalties.

How about a rule where, if you screw up running the bases, you’re forced to do a lap of the stadium in your underpants? *

If you bobble a routine fly, you have to juggle for the entire next inning.

Or if a pitcher walks in a run during a tight game, he has to go ride “It’s A Small World” four times in a row, without earplugs.

*This will not work for Mike Trout. He’d get as far as the Trout Farm, and never be seen again.

2) Stop calling Albert Pujols “The Machine”.

Have you noticed that he plays better with a smile on his face?

Call him “Mr. Happy”, or something, let him enjoy himself. It suits him.

1) Replace “Buttercup” in the 7^th innings stretch with Rage Against The Machine’s “Killing In The Name Of”.

Ok, that one is just for me. But seriously, wouldn’t that be cool?

Because, let's be honest, after the events of this week? It's worth remembering that it's just a game. 

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The Angel lineup has hardly been the unstoppable juggernaut that many projected it would be coming into the 2013 season. There are a multitude of reasons for this but one of them has not been Albert Pujols, a nice change from the Halos' early offensive struggles from the season before. In fact, it appears that one of the unnoticed positives from an otherwise dismal April for the Angels is that Albert Pujols is showing signs of a bounceback season.

Now, calling it a bounceback after a year in which Pujols hit 30 homers and posted a .394 wOBA is probably not the normal notion of a bounceback season, but we are talking in relative terms here. While Albert was still very productive in 2012, one of the big storylines underscoring his numbers was a stark decline in his plate discipline numbers.

2012 was a year in which Pujols swung at a career-high percentage of pitches, 65.1%, with much of that spike coming in the form of an alarming propensity for chasing pitches out of the zone. Not only was this the third consecutive season that The Machine's plate discipline numbers trended towards being less disciplined, it was also a huge jump in a bad way for those numbers. As a result, there were many a question asked about how quickly Pujols might be headed for an overall decline in his productivity.

Well, good news for the Angels, it appears that reports of Albert's demise have been greatly exaggerated, well demise of his approach at the plate, anyway. Thus far in 2013, Pujols has looked a lot like his old self. Maybe not his old, back in his prime self, but at least the hitter he was three years ago when the erosion of his discipline began.

The April 17th, 2013 edition of daily news for the Los Angeles Angels including Madson nearing a return, Weaver using a bone stimulator to hasten his return and much more...

The Story: Ryan Madson had his most complete bullpen session yet and could soon begin facing batters.

The Monkey Says: That could have him activated from the DL in the next 10-14 days which would be exactly what the embattled Angel bullpen needs. This, of course, means that he is bound to tweak his elbow again or maybe just trip over a black cat while ducking under a ladder only to smash his face into a mirror, breaking both his face and the mirror.

The Story: Jered Weaver has been using a bone stimulator device on his broken elbow in hopes of speeding up his recovery.

The Monkey Says: Can he find a velocity stimulator for his throwing arm? The detail that this device helped Pujols accelerate his recovery from his broken wrist is certainly encouraging, but I wouldn't expect any miracles. If this was such a magical device, wouldn't everyone be using them? Now please allow me to pause for a moment to pat myself on the back for getting through this entire blurb without making a juvenile joke about the potential other uses for a "bone stimulator." Thanks.

It couldn't possibly get worse, right? No. Actually, it seems like it can. After Joe Blanton stunk up the joint last night, serving up taters to the whole ballpark out in frigid Minnesota, Jason Vargas out-stunk him. One could try to rationalize the sudden loss of Vargas' command of his pitches, chocking it up to the cold air, or sympathy for Blanton, or a Space Jam-esque alien invasion.

But at this point, who wants to hear rationalizations? Who are these guys? The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are once again the laughing stocks of April, crumpling under the weight of expectations and lack of organizational depth and injuries. At some point, something has got to change, and knowing Jerry Dipoto, it will.

But until that day comes, the Angels find themselves once again on the losing end of a shellacking by the... Minnesota Twins. One can look to the skies for a silver lining, but it's night time in Anaheim, and the clouds are nowhere to be found.

Twins 8, Angels 6

Game Notes

-- Mike Trout is looking more and more like himself these days, so there's that. Out to prove the sophomore slump is a myth, Kid Fish had another two hits, including a couple 2-out RBI, and raising his batting average back into the .300's. This could be the last time it dips below that mark this season, fans can hope, but who knows?

-- Speaking of 2-out RBI, the Angels actually had some clutch hitting to speak of. Albert Pujols drove in a key run early on, while Peter Bourjos and Andrew Romine contributed with run-producing outs to compliment Trout's efforts. And, that's about it. Howie Kendrick continues to swing at terrible pitches. Josh Hamilton continues to swing at terrible pitches. But hey, it's early, right? Right...?

-- Dane De La Rosa continues to produce solid work out of the bullpen. At this rate, that might make two great pitching acquisitions in the Dipoto regime; him and Ernestor Frieri... and... uh.... .... uh..... a little help here, folks?

Halo A-Hole of the Game

I want to include all of the starting pitchers for their ugly, ugly collective 6.07 ERA this season, but there can only be one per game. Sorry guys.

The Angels recently shifted Garrett Richards from a middle relief role to starting role, promoted Luis Jimenez from AAA to the Major League squad, promoted Michael Roth from AA and put him into a long relief scenario in which he’ll piggy-back on Richards’ starts and promoted the recently acquired Dane De La Rosa to the bullpen from AAA.  Undoubtedly while some news sources believe these moves scream of “panic”, it seems the Angels under Jerry Dipoto have adopted such aggressive promotion policies and intend to use them consistently.  But just how big of an impact can we foresee these players having on the Angels this season or in a long-term sense?

Garrett Richards – As many of you are aware, I predicted Richards would win a starting role for the Angels a few weeks ago, and I stand by such a prediction.  I have my doubts this can be a simple injury fill-in when pitchers like Joe Blanton and Tommy Hanson are struggling as much as they are.  If Richards throws as well as I think he will, he’ll secure a starting spot and the Angels will have to creatively shuffle Blanton, Hanson and Williams around or one may be traded once Jered Weaver returns.  If Richards struggles with consistency, he’ll be shifted back into middle relief.

Luis Jimenez – Jimenez has been spectacular since his promotion and subsequent insertion into the Angels starting lineup.  While Callaspo is not on the DL, one has to wonder if he’s getting nervous about reclaiming a starting spot once he’s healthy.  The energy Jimenez has brought to the team could be considered one of those “intangibles” coaches are always talking about.  Whatever the case, Jimenez’s defense has proven to be adequate and he’s driving the ball with enough consistency that he may not be a bad option as an everyday third baseman until Kaleb Cowart is ready.  Even if “Lucho” continues to produce for the Angels, Callaspo was recently signed for the next two years, so it remains doubtful he’ll earn a starting role.  So in the short-term, I envision Jimenez returning to AAA in part due to contracts but also because Mike Scioscia tends to favor his veterans.  Long term, it seems likely that Jimenez will see significant time at third base for the Angels, if not as a starter then as a reserve.

Michael Roth – Roth made all of one start in AA since being drafted last season before his promotion.  While he looked fantastic in his debut, it seems unlikely that Roth would stay for a permanent role on the major league squad just yet.  He’s extremely polished, but even the best college pitchers learned a bit in the minors and Roth should be no different.  In the short term, I expect he’ll remain effective and make quite a few fans wonder if he shouldn’t become the swing starter while Jerome Williams should be dealt, but inevitably he’ll return to AA.  Roth doesn’t exactly have the arsenal of a traditional short reliever, so a spot in the pen would remain unlikely with fellow lefties Scott Downs and Sean Burnett on staff.  Furthermore a role in the bullpen in unlikely long-term as well given that Nick Maronde should be ready to rejoin the Angels bullpen sometime within the next season.  However, Roth should be able to compete for a spot in the rotation as soon as next season and given how dominant he was in college and how aggressively the Angels have promoted him, one can’t help but be excited about this possibility. 

Dane De La Rosa – DDLR as I’ve nicknamed him has emerged as the Angels primary right-handed setup man.  This has less to do with his performance and more to do with the fact that Weaver got hurt which took Richards out of the equation and Kevin Jepsen turned back into a pumpkin at midnight.  While scouting reports indicated DDLR came equipped with a 98 mph fastball and an excellent slider, my scouting report has differed considerably.  DDLR sits more comfortably around 93-95 and has an average slider which he’s been able to put over the plate.  This doesn’t mean he won’t be effective.  I believe De La Rosa will be reasonably efficient, though I do not believe he’ll ever be the mainstay in the 7^th or 8^th inning the Angels will count on night in and night out.  This is my projection for DDLR, both in the short-term and long-term.    

Virtually ever scenario I’ve calculated leads me to believe that the odd man out here is going to end up being Jerome Williams.  If Richards pitches well in the rotation, Blanton’s contract will ensure him a spot as a long reliever or Hanson’s affordability could slot him into a similar role.  If Michael Roth pitches well, he’ll immediately be considered a younger, cheaper, more left-handed option than Williams.  If DDLR pitches well, he’ll earn a spot in middle relief which would push another reliever into the middle relief role.  If Luis Jimenez plays well, the Angels would certainly find a use in keeping him around, which would result in one less pitcher and if other pitchers continue to perform well this could make Williams the odd man out. 

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TOOTBLAN [tt'bln] - (noun or verb) The act of an MLB baserunner committing a mental error that results in him being Thrown Out On The Basepaths Like A Nincompoop.

It has long been a hallmark of Mike Scioscia's tenure at the helm of the Angels that the offense would manufacture extra runs via a constant assault on the defense by way of aggressive running of the bases. Scioscia's Halos steal a lot bases and take the extra base on at every opportunity on a ball in play. That's how it is supposed to work.

As you may noticed this season, the Angels offense isn't exactly firing on all cylinders. As you may have also noticed, the trademark aggressive Angel baserunning has not been present thus far in 2013. Instead, the Angels have become one of the foremost purveyors of TOOTBLAN.

Exhibit A

One of the most glaring deficiencies of the Angel offense thus far has been their near lack of stolen bases. Through their first 12 games, the Halos have swiped  just three bases. That's it. Howie Kendrick has stolen two and Mike Trout has stolen one. This is not a product of bad luck as the Angels have collectively attempted just five actual steals. There are the three successful steals, a TOOTBLAN-rich Albert Pujols caught stealing attempt (he apparently thought that with his injured foot that has slowed him to a job, he might be able to get a steal via the element of surprise) and failed attempts by Kendrick and Luis Jimenez.

For whatever reason, the Angels just aren't running. Trout has been oddly reluctant to run though he has had a few hit-and-run situations erase some of his would-be attempts. Still, Erick Aybar never made an attempt before he got hurt and super speedy Peter Bourjos has also yet to try to swipe a base. There isn't even a real explanation for why the team has been so conservative other than maybe they have been on the wrong side of a multi-run deficit a several times thus far and don't want to risk giving away an out when what they need is a bunch of runs instead of one.

While this team has some real plodders like Pujols, Iannetta, Trumbo and Callaspo, there is simply too much speed here for things to continue like this.

The April 16th, 2013 edition of daily news for the Los Angeles Angels including Angels potential suitors for Headley, Arte Moreno paying for his own moves and much more...

The Story: The Angels could be a suitor for Chase Headley if/when he becomes available via trade.

The Monkey Says: I seriously doubt it, but I understand why people will bring it up. Frankly, the Angels just don't have the prospect package that the Padres would want in a Headley deal. I also don't think the Halos are that unhappy with Callaspo, who they just signed to a two-year deal, as a placeholder until Kaleb Cowart is ready.

The Story: Arte Moreno needs to look at his own moves if he is angry about the Angels' slow start.

The Monkey Says: Simers likes to propagate the "Angry Arte" persona, but this is the first time I have seen anyone else echo that sentiment. I'm still not sure his anger really manifests itself in actual moves, with the exception of the Wells trade after the Carl Crawford catastrophe. Most, if not all, of the hirings and firing from Arte have been more than justifiable. Maybe he is angry, but he isn't impulsive.