- The Story: Why is Boston so excited over John Lackey? The Monkey Says: I love the analogy that Lackey is only "history class hot." Let's face it, the Red Sox overpaid for Lackey, but they are in much better shape with him as their third starter whereas the Halos would have been relying on him as their ace.
- The Story: Don't call John Lackey a traitor for taking the money and heading to Boston. The Monkey Says: Calling much of the Angel fan base idiots in the first sentence of your column is clearly a great way to endear yourself to them. People are pissed that Lackey left and there is nothing wrong with hoping that there is still some loyalty left in sports even though it is clearly dying out quickly.
- The Story: Is Matsui really a full-time DH? The Monkey Says: For all intents and purposes, he should be, but I am sure he will play a dozen or so games in the field so that Juan Rivera and Bobby Abreu can get some time off their legs in the DH spot.
- The Story: The Seattle Mariners are now after former Angel pitcher Kelvim Escobar. The Monkey Says: OK, Seattle, we get it. Enough already. You don't need to try and sign away every single Angel free agent to be taken seriously. Oh, by the way, you still can't hit.
- The Story: The Angels extended their affiliation agreement with the Orem Owlz. The Monkey Says: The Owlz will continue to be the Angels' rookie ball affiliate through 2014.
- The Story: Mike Scioscia has been named to a special 14-person committee to address on-field issues. The Monkey Says: Sosh is being tabbed to help MLB figure out what changes, if any, they will make to things like the post-season schedule and use of instant replay. With guys like Scioscia, Joe Torre, Tony LaRussa and Jim Leyland on the committe, Bug Selig is bound to get more suggestions than he can handle... he will then promptly ignore them.
- The Story: The first pictures of Chone Figgins as a Seattle Mariner. The Monkey Says: Just in case you wanted to start the day out by vomiting on your keyboard.
